Comments on: Bears

By: damiengwalter

damiengwalter — Mon, 12 Nov 2007 23:55:51 +0000

Excellent. Another take all together. Although spookily similar to my own effort at a thematic level.

By: embarrassingfriend

embarrassingfriend — Mon, 12 Nov 2007 18:23:54 +0000

I took one look at the dame and knew she was trouble. She had curves that defied physics, a face to write sonnets about. Her voice was as smooth as honey, but her posture shouted ‘attitude’. She flashed me a glance full of promise and danger signals ran through me, but I couldn’t take my eyes off her. “Walk away”, I told myself. “This dame will run rings around you”. But I couldn’t.

By: damiengwalter

damiengwalter — Sat, 10 Nov 2007 10:25:28 +0000

Thats an amazing first paragraph. Now I want read the story.

By: drewgum

drewgum — Sat, 10 Nov 2007 09:41:22 +0000

Random first paragraph.

“It was a ring, there was no doubt about that. Top scientists had studied the satellite images and even flown above it in helicopters. It was just that, standing on the ground and walking around it, you never ended back at the same place.”

By: Sam Jordison

Sam Jordison — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 12:45:21 +0000

Clever! That’s so often the solutions to writing problems…

By: damiengwalter

damiengwalter — Tue, 06 Nov 2007 19:02:23 +0000

Nice of you to drop by Sam. No worries about the paragraph, I solved the problem by deleting it altogether!

By: Sam Jordison

Sam Jordison — Tue, 06 Nov 2007 18:44:25 +0000

Heh-heh. How nice to arrive where the real action is actually all happening…

As for Rings… I’m afraid I’m having a brain fart. I can only think of indescribably filthy things that would do no one’s reputation any good at all…