What the ?!

All blog owners are aware of the strange (and occaisionaly dirty) search terms people have used to find them. Well today I’ve had my all time favourite….(cue the drumroll)….and Damien’s favourite ever search term is…

unlimited dessert trolley london

Yes, I’ve checked on Google and for some bizarre reason this blog is the 20th result for unlimited dessert trolley london. Wonders will never cease.

I like this because I can sense an entire story behind those four words. Who might be seeking unlimited dessert in London? Why do they need as mauch cake as they can eat? Is it simple gluttony, or some absurd life and death predicament? If the Googler in question happens to pop by again, I’d love to know more. Otherwise imagined suggestions in the comments below please.


Published by Damien Walter

Writer and storyteller. Contributor to The Guardian, Independent, BBC, Wired, Buzzfeed and Aeon magazine. Special forces librarian (retired). Teaches the Rhetoric of Story to over 35,000 students worldwide.

2 thoughts on “What the ?!

  1. There was a woman who, as soon as she got off the plane at Heathrow, discovered that she was insatiably hungry. It was a specific hunger: a longing for sweets, for pastry and cake and sugary glaze. She forgot to take her luggage from the carousel and instead bought a currant bun from a 24-hour coffee shop on a street corner. She devoured the bun, tore it to pieces between her fingers and stuffed them all into her mouth. She ate so quickly that she dropped a currant on the floor. She was still hungry, so she bought another bun, and then a piece of cake, and then cup of rubbery custard.
    The boy, who was pretending to wipe down the counter, dropped the magazine that he was reading. He looked at the woman, tilting his head back to see her as she was now floating high enough that her hair kept brushing against the ceiling. She kept eating, frantically now, but no matter how much she ate, the earth couldn’t seem to regain its hold on her. An errant breeze might have lifted her further, carried her out the door, but the boy leaped up and caught onto her ankle. He tethered her to the espresso machine with the plastic string from a bag of coffee beans, and went to find something more substantial.



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