Nothing in publishing means what it says. Especially book reviews and the stuff they put in blurbs.
Renowned – unknown
Bestselling – crap
New York Times bestseller – utter crap
Seminal – almost dead
Legendary – actually dead
Cult – only readable by drug addicts
A powerful debut – you will never hear from this author again
Winner of… – went to uni / slept with a judge
A tale of love, hate and [INSERT IRONIC SUBJECT IE ironing, cats, bee keeping] – the book is essentially just the unremarkable life of the author who erroneously believes they are quite interesting
Volume 7 in the Chronicles of Tel’neth – sales started tappering off after Volume 2 and have never recovered, we’re hoping the author will die before we have to tell him he’s no longer in contract
One of our greatest living novelists – everyone is saying nice things about this but I really don’t know why
Hypnotic, spellbinding – didn’t get it
Brilliantly conceived, bold and exuberant – didn’t read it
Impossible to put down – only read the beginning
The long-awaited return of – written by the author after a minor nervous breakdown in a desperate attempt to pay their medical bills
The literary sensation of the year – author got to all the right parties
Astounding – competent
Astonishing – incoherent
Amazing – predictable
The list could go on forever. And why shouldn’t it? Tell me the ones I missed @damiengwalter
Damien Walter 
A writer working at the height of his powers = a writer who has run out of ideas
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